The Alexandra Clapham

Twinned with Rody Boland’s in Rathmines, Dublin City, The Alexandra Clapham is commonly known as the place to get your first threesome! And, no this is not an urban myth.

Located on the very edge of Clapham Common, The Alex is a popular London pub for all sporting occasions. It has a fair few screens which attract a large crowd however they’re placed so strategically awkward that Hawkeye has difficulty locating the ball.

Clapham Porter:

A steady flow of Irish customers such as the infamous Frank keep the Guinness ticking over nicely. The Pint is not quite the nectar of the Gods but you can manage to drink it without getting it in your teeth. There are many people here that drink it with a dash of blackcurrant, which is just plain wrong. The shop outside the Swan in Stockwell serves a good Buckfast instead.

Service:

I think at times during a busy night staff actually head off to Infernos for the ride. There are five staff members behind the bar one minute and suddenly there’s nobody. Just Frank (again). Card readers are bolted into the bar at specific points making it a mission to pay for a drink and chat up a girl from Kilkenny at the same time #ThreesomeFail.

Lavatories:

This establishment hasn’t changed a bit in 20 years meaning that it’s a little rough around the edges. To my mind that gives the place its character. The toilet has an old Irish charm that Mountjoy would be proud of, metal doors that don’t close while lads with big arms and hairless chests have a wazz. Luckily though there’s no soap here! 

Location to nearest train/tube:

If you should fall out the door you will likely find yourself conveniently rolling down the stairs into Clapham Common tube station. It is that close. Legend has it this is where Pulp wrote the lyrics to Common People.

Unique Crab McGrath quality:

If there’s a GAA, rugby or hoking event on then this is one of the best places in the city to watch it(at an angle). Soak up the atmosphere in front of two absolutely huge projector screens upstairs. I don’t think I’ve ever had a seat in this pub but I’ll keep trying until I do. Suigh sios le do thoil!

Crab McGrath Rating:

3.2/5 🦀

Frank(ly) it’s grand.

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