Man Finally Proposes to Get More Blow Jobs

Three years after the ‘seven-year itch’ a man took the plunge and got down on one knee in the hope that he would get more blow jobs.  When you have been in a relationship for more than 2 years, this kind of action is normally saved for special occasions and can leave a man feeling deflated.

So far, the man is pleased with a 200% increase in mouth action after getting his first blowjob since the 2012 Eurovision song contest after his proposal. Once more, the times of endless hinting, washing up, cooking gluten-free meals and visiting grandparents to get action are a thing of the past.  All he must do is spontaneously talk about the upcoming wedding and his now, ‘fiancé’ is all but willing to fulfil his needs.

With such a dramatic turnaround of events, the man is keen to share his success with other men who have fallen into the trap of only birthday and Christmas fun.  No longer do men need to resort to desperate attempts to lure their girlfriends into the act. “Blue balls and flesh lights are a thing of the past, I’m an idiot, I should have taken the plunge years ago,” said the emptied man.

In a previous attempt to excite his girlfriend, the man shaved around his Mr Winky to make his assets look larger and therefore more appealing.  Sadly, this didn’t work and was received only with hysteric laughter, followed by an itchy rash for two weeks after.

The only question that now remains, is where to go next once he’s married?  Renewal of their vows?  Eternity ring? Or the cheaper version may be to agree to watch the entire series of Downtown Abbey and cry at the part where Matthew dies.

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44 thoughts on “Man Finally Proposes to Get More Blow Jobs”

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